letter written June 16, 1969

June 16, 1969 Dear Mom, I haven’t written you for several months now. I am sorry for not doing so. I been on tour in north vietnam and havent had much time. I mean, I havent wanted to. Some times I am a different person. I have become ingulfed in the war mom and I want out. I have lossed control of who I am. I have done things that I would not normally do but had no choice. Today is the day after a fire fight in the jungle. It went through the night, all night. Most battles are done during the night to ware on the enimy, the fact is it wares on all.It is number 16 fire fight in the past month. It has been total caos and no joke. My friends that I have been with for several months are gone. Making new friends is out because most will die and I don’t need any more memories. I now sit and write my only friend, you. I miss my home town and as simple as it might seem I wish I could walk the streets of our town. I don’t know how to say it, the side walks I wish to walk now. My friend Tommy was shot and killed during the early morning. I tried to carry him to a medic but was taken down by a bullet to the leg. He died mom. This is some one I talked to and hung out with and trusted. No longer do I want friends they die. I am being patch up and they tell me that I am going home. I would like to come home now. waken up to you and your love is what I miss. I have no love now. Tell Dad to sell or give away my hunting guns away, I don’t want to kill no more. Please think of me when you can, it gives me strength. Love your son, Dess