I woke up this morning feeling rugged and tired. I popped a sleeping pill (doctor prescribed) the night before to help me dream away the problems I'm having. My life has become completely unmanageable and I'm trying to fight it. Being organized has always been trouble for me and lastly it has become worse than usual. Crawling out from the back seat of my Mercury sable, which has become my "home away from home." The Mercury is not running properly and I have borrowed a car to help pay the bills, bills that are continually mounting. On this morning the sun finally shone it self. Lately it had been hiding behind dark pillows of clouds for several weeks and counting. When it has shone, there has been a constant threat of thundering rain. My eyes are sensitive to light and today there was a need for shades. My choice of color...rose. Pulling up to my favorite fuel pit, to pick up a fix of java. For some odd reason I feeling came over me that a new life is coming. I do not have a dime in my pockets and was given a free pass with the clerk due to frequency of visits. This ensured my return as a loyal customer. Entering the bathroom, I splashed cool water on my face to help wake up. While washing the stench of stale cigs on my hands sickens me.
Downing the coffee, I rolled into the parking lot of the local delivery of bad news, USPS. Today I have a feeling of good news for the sun has been shinning for several days and the continual rain appears to have ceased. A single letter was in my mailbox, Carroll County Court is on the return address. Sliding my finger through the flap to reveal its contents. I have just received court ordered therapy. Evaluations are not immiscible in court but these types of orders help the local economy (mental heath industry is thriving up here). No Dale Bozzio you are not alone. Reversing direction mentally, I dialed the owner of the car that is on loan to me; on a cell phone that contains way too many drop down menu's and is driving me nuts. Foreign governments can make use of these phones as torturering devises. The language used in the operating system is completely foreign to me and many others I'm sure. Having visions of eggheads sitting in cubical pounding away on computer keyboards thinking the rest of the world is in tune with their train of thought. Many of the words used in the menus I needed to look up in the dictionary to decipher the meaning. Us common folk have no idea what they are referring to (an example of this would be when resizing a picture they use the word attributes, most of us use the wording-resize-). Jen answers the phone on the copper line; they have both copper and wireless phone connections. She is the aunt to my son. Lovely women with kind words to say to most but not all (she has the potential of a viper). She has past the point of no return, the age of fifty, always tending to the yard and managing her husbands business. With out her he would tumble into an unorganized world of chaos. A yard colored with purples, reds
and yellows along the walkway to their home, greeting prospecting clients. Briefly mentioning the latest round of court orders, I asked if she is a preferred provider to Blue Cross/ Blue Shield (alternative methods of therapy are accepted in Supreme Court). She replied "no but I do accept Master Card or Visa." "Very good, charge it."
The car on loan is a 1985 Chevrolet Corvette, a very soothing Zen. Color: black on gray and is a favorite combination of mine. The Chevrolet Corvette is capable of "pulling off" any color of the rainbow (including yellow) and has this appearance that a good day is coming. Seat position is low to the ground and well-worn condition, a sign of many productive therapy sessions. Dropping my right hand over the gear selector, depressing the safety switch with my palm and dropping it into Drive. I theorize that the safety switch is built into the gear selector to thwart any children seeking therapy. Cases of children (inspiring to become mechanical engineers) are rumored to have jumped into Vettes with sticks. One child depressing the safety switch with the sticks while the other slamming the selector downward until forward motion is achieved. The Corvette is equipped with the classic, proven 350 cubic inch tuned for performance. Capable of tremendous forward thrust in short order.
The Corvette learches forward, slightly downward and to the right as the gears of the transmission mesh together indicating she is ready to begin a productive day of therapy. My first stop in my preplanned travels is the Carroll County House of Correction. My future ex-wife called me asking to sign her out of trouble. When arriving at the "house of pain," in hopes of hearing about a benign situation gone haywire with the help of an antagonizing mouth, I asked the constable "what happened now." He informed me that he is not obligated to say but that she will remain in protective custody until further notice. Hearing these words I mumbled "its over." Turning on my heals and exiting the house of pain it dawned on me that my marriage was officially over. I'm ready for a new life.
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Dess Dermondy
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